Hey followers, Marlene´s busy at the moment, so it´s me for a change, the guy sharing Marlene´s life and bed. Actually it's the other way round - about two years after we met, she moved into my place and stayed ever since. Some things never change: she still won't go out without a complete make-over, and so she spends more than 30 minutes in the bathroom every morning. Well, sometimes 'morning' would be called noon or afternoon by other people. So let me rephrase my statement to spending more than 30 minutes in the bathroom every day.
After Marlene recently re-discovered her book "Marlene Dietrich´s A.B.C." (whose first edition was published in 1963, about ten years before I was born), I decided to give you an update to her current alphabet:
A - Atrac and other codecs. It always surprises me that something whose purpose it is to compress data takes so much time to explain and talk about.
B - Bee hive, queen of the. Nickname is Sumsebrumm. The letters "E" and "C" were already taken, so egocentricity and centre of the world (someone has to be) didn´t make it to the alphabet.
C - CD player, portable. Obsession before mini discs.
D - Disc. Either compact or mini.
E - Electronic devices. Perfec for collecting. Confer mini disc players (portable) and obsession.
F - Fridge. Ever seen anybody checking the best-before dates with a stop watch?
G - Generosity. No question there.
H - Herbs, fresh. Especially dill.
I - Internet. Best invention you cannot buy and collect. Yet it actually is a great help for buying and collecting things - confer mini disc or cd players (portable) and obsession.
J - Joy. Not necessarily connected to collecting portable electronic devices.
K - Kruemelmonster. That guy from Sesame Street showing nearly - but not quite - the same fondness for cookies as Marlene. (And no, we´re not talking about Super Grover.)
L - Long lasting obsession. Confer scores (film), but mini disc recorders (portable) might become a contender.
M - Mini disc players.
N - Nobbel, Nibbel and the rest of the bunch. Don´t ask.
O - Obsession. Currently portable mini disc recorders, but also confer cd players (portable), mini disc players (portable) and scores (film).
P - Portable mini disc recorders.
Q - Quality. Your standards can´t be high enough.
R - Recorders, mini disc, portable.
S - Scores (film). Just try being forced to listen to a five second segment of the film score "The Black Hole" in an endless loop for hours, and afterwards confer (having developed a headache in the meantime) obsession and long lasting obsession.
T - Technology. Especially if it´s small, electronic, collectible and audio related. Confer mini disc players (portable) and obsession.
U - U should always listen to a wise woman. Confer beehive (queen of the).
V - Vegetables. At first, they had to be covered in thick sauces of cream or coconut milk. Nowadays, Marlene´s asking for a vegetarian option from time to time.
W - Word of the month. Currently "pretentious" (for the last 15 months).
X - Xtravagant taste and standards.
Y - Y were portable mini disc recorders invented so late in Marlene´s life?
Z - Zzzzzz. The sound at night after a succesful treatment of Marlene´s sleep apnoea. Don´t ask what it sounded like before. I would suggest to confer to avalanche or bulldozers with engine problems but they didn´t make it to the alphabet.
Don´t take everything above too seriously. There´s a reason we´re sharing our lives. But in case I have to calm Marlene´s mood, I´ll prepare a recipe from her former "A.B.C.". And I´ll be sure to add some dill.
